Love, Lust or Bust?
It definitely wasn’t love at first sight. When we first met, I was honestly sickened and turned-off. I was unsure of why I was willing to make this work. But I committed.
My love affair with crossfit began eight months ago with. And, for the past few weeks, my love has lessened, and this has me wondering if it was just lust after all. Has the novelty worn off?
I started crossfit because I desperately needed strength and conditioning training to rehabilitate some (diagnosed as) chronic injuries/traumas. And, I definitely got it. I’ve proudly come a long way from struggling to lift the 15lb bar to lifting triple-digits.
Admittedly, I’ve been at a plateau for weights because I’m afraid of injuring myself. I’ve been sharing my issues with my crossfit penpal. (Yep. That’s right.) We rarely see each other in class, but we communicate almost daily, sharing our high’s and lows and keeping each other motivated. Usually, we can encourage each other out of a slump, but I’m in deep this time.
My fear came true two weeks ago. I was in a confident head space and pushed myself to lift heavy for the seated back squats. I was at 150lbs and I had one more rep to complete the set. My core collapsed forward, and so did I … and the bar. I leaned forward into my knees hoping the bar would just roll off. It did, until it stopped momentarily on my neck.
For days after, I iced and heated, and took medication. Physically, I’m feeling awesome again, but am mentally scarred.
Now, I don’t want to lift more. I don’t trust my body. I don’t trust myself. I don’t want to increase my weights because I don’t believe I can manage them safely.
This new frame of mind has me uninterested in working out. Though I continue to go to class, the lust and love is missing. I don’t push myself at all. I even cheated on crossfit by secretly indulging in swimming (after 15+ years of avoiding it). I didn’t like it, and spent most of my time in the sauna and hot tub.
Is there something better? How do I bring the spark back? Agh.
(1) I’m still going to classes. There’s hope to revitalize this love.
(2) No one likes a quitter.
(3) You’re welcome, ladies. 😉