Let Me Grow Up.
But, surprise! I’m not the 20 year old you remember to be.
Twice this weekend, I shocked people with how lame and uneventful my life is.
On Friday, I was at a dinner with a bunch of lovely ladies. We decided to coordinate the next gathering as a girl’s night out. It was suggested that I pick the place to go because “I would know.” Actually, I don’t.
Saturday evening, I received an invite to go for drinks. After I got up from my nap shortly after 7pm, I declined. A short text convo ensued and the person thought I was napping to prepare for a wild night out. Err, nope. The nap was to help me stay up long enough to clean my bathroom, and maybe catch an episode of Breaking Bad.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been out every weekend (days and nights) for social-ness (and rarely home weekday evenings). I just needed a night to decompress and reenergize…by myself.
Except for vacations, the last time I went to a nightclub (in Vancouver) was a few months ago, which was for a friend’s birthday. I do miss dancing though. Sometimes I reflect on what life would be like if I pursued go-go dancing. I really missed my calling.
Sure, in my early-mid 20’s, I lived for going out to bars and clubs. Now, I live for that one Friday or Saturday night where I can watch a Bollywood movie or fold my laundry. Maybe this is why I’m single.
I wish I liked people enough to be out-n-about more often and much later, but I don’t. I like me more. I am that old person I swore I’d be too cool to ever be.
People profile, yet can’t offer me an explanation on why they peg me to be a barstar at the age of 32. Though I don’t mind being profiled as whatever, the barstar profile irks me.
I’m a big girl now. Please see me for who I am today.
There’s more to life, well at least mine, than drinking, nightclubbing, and staying out late for the sake of staying out late. I spent my 20’s trying to impress others, trying to live up to expectations and projections, and trying to keep up in the fast lane. And, now I’ll spend my 30’s learning who I really am.
(1) The past isn’t the present or future, so leave it behind.
(3) Experiences don’t define you. Experiences shape you.