It Is About Me, Right?
No, I’m not a narcissist, I just like and value introspection. Without it, I think, people live self-scripted, patterned lives. Introspection means we get to observe and process our own behaviour. It fosters an opportunity to invest in a more peaceful self.
Recently, I had conversation with a friend that left me thinking about a lot of stuff, all about me of course.
Last week, while in Toronto, Walden and I had what started as a surface-level conversation about our polar opposite dating lives. He has had more first dates this year than I have this decade. Just as I started to complain about how it’s easier to meet more eligible people in Toronto than in my city, Vancouver, Walden got serious on me. (But for the record, I just wanted to say that I think Toronto’s social scene and lifestyle facilitates more opportunities to mingle.) He commented on how there isn’t a lack of eligible bachelor/ettes anywhere; single people discount those who do approach them because they are not who the singles want to attract.
He’s right. So right. We tend to have tunnel vision for an ideal type and miss opportunities for experiences. Diversifying is not settling.
His comments had me reflecting for days, and then had me kicking myself for all the years of possible missed connections and adventures.
It didn’t take long thereafter for me to experience my ignorance. Last weekend, Vicki and I did a mini hike in St. John’s. At the top of the hill, there was a group of Italian hockey players. Yeowzers. On the way down, Vicki commented on how she caught some of the players checking me out. Double yeowzers. Stupidly enough, I was oblivious to it all.
Then, the next night, Vicki and I went for dinner/drinks. I appreciated the bartender’s excellent customer service, as I put it. He was friendly, funny, and interactive. Vicki is the one who alluded to his cuteness. “He’s cute, right?”
Turns out, he thought I was cute. And, again, I was oblivious to his overt flirting ‘til he outright commented, while grinning, on how he was single.
I think I know why I miss such blatancy. I don’t do well with attention. I like to think I’m a wallflower. If I don’t see you, you can’t see me, right?
(1) Don’t discount opportunities presented to you based on your ideals/preferences.
(2) Be open and inviting to your surroundings.
(3) Men, if you’re interested in me, please be direct. I need all the help I can get.
(4) I’m apparently a hot commodity in St. John’s, Newfoundland. I must get back there.
(4) I need to have more conversations with Walden.