Actually, it’s not the jeans that make you look fat. You just are fat. So, uhm, maybe you should put down those Big Macs and milkshakes, and find a treadmill, heffer.
Calling someone too skinny is no different than calling another person fat. Yet, people think it’s acceptable. It’s not okay. Being too skinny has its own realm of problems –eating disorder accusations, internal health issues, and body image insecurities. Yes, skinny people have body image issues too.
I’ve been told one too many times that I’d look ‘better’ if I’d just gain some weight, or that I have a distorted view of my body. I’m cute. I know this, but I also know that I could be cuter if I was confident. Comments of the sort don’t help.
I’m one who struggles to keep weight on. About six years ago, I lost a lot of weight due to stress. I’m 5’9” and weighed 100lbs. It took a few years to put on and maintain healthy weight. I currently weigh in at 120lbs.
My new crossfit obsession has me burning more calories than I’m consuming. Sure, I can afford to overindulge in empty calories, but I don’t want to catalyze poor health. I need/want to learn more about diets and nutrition in order to manage my health. So, I sought help.
Last week, I posted on CrossFit West10’s public Facebook page. I asked for referrals to a dietician who focused on weight gain and preferred this person understand crossfit training (I still can’t succinctly describe its awesomeness).
I received a private message (from a non-crossfitter) that left me in awe. (I’ve since deleted the post because I did not want to take a chance and solicit any more comments of the sort.)
It was suggested that I stop crossfitting as a solution to my weight loss. I think that person missed the part in my plea where I noted the importance of crossfit to me.
Worst advice ever.
Would you tell a non-skinny person to stop working out? Never. Would you not help an over weight person with diet and nutrition? Never.
Whether you’re over or under weight, diet and exercise are key to maintaining well being. That’s all I want. I want to be a healthy me. Actually, that’s not all. I want friends to help me be the best me based on my goals … and, I want a set of abs, too. But, I guess I can’t have it all.
The next person to tell me I’d look better if I’d gain some weight better be ready for me to sit on you. Then, you can tell me if I need to gain another 10 pounds.
(1) Don’t give advice based on your personal ideals. See the situation for what it is.
(2) There is beauty in every body shape.
(3) Strong and healthy is beautiful
No, I’m not a narcissist, I just like and value introspection. Without it, I think, people live self-scripted, patterned lives. Introspection means we get to observe and process our own behaviour. It fosters an opportunity to invest in a more peaceful self.
Recently, I had conversation with a friend that left me thinking about a lot of stuff, all about me of course.
Last week, while in Toronto, Walden and I had what started as a surface-level conversation about our polar opposite dating lives. He has had more first dates this year than I have this decade. Just as I started to complain about how it’s easier to meet more eligible people in Toronto than in my city, Vancouver, Walden got serious on me. (But for the record, I just wanted to say that I think Toronto’s social scene and lifestyle facilitates more opportunities to mingle.) He commented on how there isn’t a lack of eligible bachelor/ettes anywhere; single people discount those who do approach them because they are not who the singles want to attract.
He’s right. So right. We tend to have tunnel vision for an ideal type and miss opportunities for experiences. Diversifying is not settling.
His comments had me reflecting for days, and then had me kicking myself for all the years of possible missed connections and adventures.
It didn’t take long thereafter for me to experience my ignorance. Last weekend, Vicki and I did a mini hike in St. John’s. At the top of the hill, there was a group of Italian hockey players. Yeowzers. On the way down, Vicki commented on how she caught some of the players checking me out. Double yeowzers. Stupidly enough, I was oblivious to it all.
Then, the next night, Vicki and I went for dinner/drinks. I appreciated the bartender’s excellent customer service, as I put it. He was friendly, funny, and interactive. Vicki is the one who alluded to his cuteness. “He’s cute, right?”
Turns out, he thought I was cute. And, again, I was oblivious to his overt flirting ‘til he outright commented, while grinning, on how he was single.
I think I know why I miss such blatancy. I don’t do well with attention. I like to think I’m a wallflower. If I don’t see you, you can’t see me, right?
(1) Don’t discount opportunities presented to you based on your ideals/preferences.
(2) Be open and inviting to your surroundings.
(3) Men, if you’re interested in me, please be direct. I need all the help I can get.
(4) I’m apparently a hot commodity in St. John’s, Newfoundland. I must get back there.
(4) I need to have more conversations with Walden.