Fast & Furious: Behind My Scene

thinkrainbows_racingThere’s nothing like the adrenaline rush like releasing your aggression with high speeds on the track… so I’m told.

For more than 10 years, I have battled a fear of/for driving. From a rollover to multi-vehicle pile-ups, I’ve had my share of bad luck on the road, with the worst being four MVAs in 14 months.

I had a major case of road anxiety. It stemmed from having life-changing experiences forced upon me. These accidents were out of my control. Every time I got on the road, I felt that I was setting myself up. So mysoultion was to avoid driving. I’ve lied and schemed to family and friends to get out of events just so I didn’t have to drive. Sorry, cat’s out of the bag.

Eventually, the lies started to up to me. I needed to deal with the fear. To help me overcome this, I didn’t know what it would all take, but I did know that step one was to get myself on the road. To be on the road, I needed to feel safe. I invested in a new vehicle. No, not a tank, but a BMW. It was the only vehicle that I test drove that made me feel safe (because it felt like a heavy car –if that makes sense).

Step two in the process is to trust other drivers. It’s hard not to drive the gorgeous BMW, so it wasn’t too much of a struggle to be on the road. As said before, I can only control myself, not others. I trust in my driving and that’s the confidence and focus I need to bring to behind the wheel.

I’ve been accident free for four years (longest period in 11 years, woohoo!). I feel confident that my fear had dissipated. And, on Friday, I confirmed it to myself.

A friend started his birthday with go karting. Leading up to the night, I was freaking myself out. Narrow tracks, little-to-no protection in those rickety exposed karts, high speeds. Would it take one tap from another kart into my kart, or a crash into the tire walls to send me back over the edge? Why would I want to choose to put myself in an intimate environment that would surely elicit a lapse?

I could avoid this potential spiral by not going at all, or I could challenge and test my growth. Acting on a “what if” was not an option.

The birthday group doesn’t know of my MVA past, and so it was cute when they teased me about my gentle driving. I was the granny who’d slow down and let the racers pass me. And, for the record, the nice guy/girl doesn’t always finish last. I came in 9/10th (out of 13).

I won my race. I’ve committed the last decade (I like to refer to this time as my misspent 20s) to the emotional, mental and physical baggage that comes with these series of misfortunes. I’m doing awesome physically thanks to CrossFit West10, and wonderful mentally and emotionally thanks to support and understanding from family/friends. Oh, and me. I do owe myself some gratitude for being resilient and persevering.

Rainbow thoughts:
(1) If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.

(2) Trust in your process. Trust in yourself.

(3) I’m a good driver, really.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About thinkrainbows

positive thinking for simple living.

9 responses to “Fast & Furious: Behind My Scene”

  1. Business Engagement says :

    Remarkable issues here. I am very glad to look your article.

    Thank you a lot and I’m takung a look ahead to contact you.
    Will you please drop me a e-mail?

  2. Green Coffee Bean Extract says :

    I appreciate, cause I discovered just what I was taking a look for.
    You have ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.
    Bye

  3. Handling pressure says :

    Yesterday, while I waas at work, my sister stole my apple ipad
    and tested to see if it can survive a forty foopt drop, just so she can bbe a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she
    has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I haad to share it with
    someone!

  4. autowebnew.com says :

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this web site.
    He used to be totally right. This put up truly made my day.

    You cann’t imagine simply how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  5. Lashonda says :

    What i do not understood is in trutgh how you are not
    actually a lot more smartly-preferred than you may be now. You’re
    so intelligent. You already know thus considerably in terms of this subject, produced me in my opnion believe it from
    so many varied angles. Itss like men and women aren’t interested
    except it’s something to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding.
    All the time care for it up!

  6. amberhrwallace.Fotopages.com says :

    Quality content is the main to invite the users to
    pay a quick visit the web site, that’s what this web
    site is providing.

  7. more nutrional advices says :

    I must thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this website.
    I really hope to see the same high-grade blog posts by
    you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site
    now 😉

  8. Mercedes-Benz Articles says :

    Hi there friends, fastidious piece of writing and nice urging commented
    here, I am genuinely enjoying by these.

say something

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: