Holier Than Thou.
“Before you judge me take a look at you // Can’t you find something better to do // Point the finger, slow to understand // Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand // It’s not you are it’s who you know// Others lives are the basis of your own // Burn your bridges and build them back with wealth // Judge not l’est ye be judged yourself // You know not” –Metallica.
As a true introvert, I’m still reflecting and thinking about two conversations I had last week. Both conversations left me thinking why people are so ignorant on judging me (or others) based on how they live their lives. Don’t judge me, but if you must, judge me based on how I’m living my life according to my parameters, not yours.
Convo1 was with a male friend. At dinner, we were talking about how life priorities change as we age (him 29, me 31). We both agreed that we are at a point in life where going out every weekend til 4-5am and getting super drunk is not appealing. I enjoy going meeting up with friends, but don’t get why I have to be out ‘til 2am for it to be a good night. After a few hours out-n-about, I love crawling into my bed, and waking up feeling refreshed and not groggy or hung over. He commented on how some of his buddies even stopped inviting him out knowing he’d be a party pooper because he’d call it a night well before others, and wouldn’t engage in endless drinking. He and I don’t judge the 30+year olds trying to have social lives of 19 year olds, yet we are criticized for growing up and changing our priorities.
Convo2 was with a female I’d just met. She’s 44 and married with two kids. I’m 31 and single with no dependents. One of our convos was how my uneventful my weekdays are, for the most part, because I leave home for work at 7.20am, work ‘til 430pm, hit up crossfit at 5.30pm, get home by 7.40pm, shower, eat dinner, unpack and repack my day bag, and be in bed by 9.30pm. In the first few days of meeting her, I heard, one too many times, how I should “enjoy it while I can.” She was inferring to how everything I did was for me, whereas she had to head home to the family. I may be (over) reacting to the fact that she’s assuming that I, too, will/want/can have children, and potentially have a family. What if I will be the happily single friend/sister/daughter forever? This week, I heard the comment again about how I am lucky to have all this me-time. I couldn’t bite my tongue anymore and just responded with, “Just remember you, too, were this ‘free’ when you were my age.”
It’s not fair to judge me on my life based on how you choose to live your life. But I get that the world isn’t fair. Your judgements say more about you than me. So, bring it on.
(1) Save your judgements for yourself.
(2) It takes courage to live your life the way you want to.
(3) Don’t let others dictate what’s important to you.
(4) We all sin differently.