These are all terms that can be used to describe Damsels in Distress –hopeless women who need to be rescued.
That’s me. I’m the epitome of damsel in distress. From changing a flat tire, to finishing a fight I started in a nightclub, or carrying my luggage while vacationing, I always need help.
And, I’m lucky enough to know suckers good friends/family/strangers who help me on a regular basis.
I use to stress myself out by striving to pay these favours back. But, then, I came to the conclusion that there is no debt among friends, and to just pay forward. I try my best to help those I can help, whenever, wherever. It is just the right thing to do.
With that said, a local news story of the weekend really irked me. There was a possible abduction outside a very populated mall. The surveillance video shows a car stopping in front of the Shoppers Drug Mart at Surrey Central Mall, and two men forcing a third man out of the car and into the trunk before driving off (side note: in the video, the driver does stop at the cross walk and waits for pedestrians to cross…odd).
Apparently, police are treating this as a possible abduction because there’s potential for this to be a prank. But joke or reality, I’m left baffled by the passive bystanders. How did the bystanders shackle their moral instincts in that alarming situation?
The bystander effect is when people are reluctant to intervene in an emergency situation when there are others present. We’d like to think that it’s best to have as many hands-on-deck in such situations, and yet, I think it’s human nature to, instead, turn a blind eye and expect others to be responsible. There’s even a popular show about this phenomenon (ABC’s What Would You Do?)
A few years ago, I was in Boxing Day line-ups at 4am. A group of drunk guys led the line-up, and as the store was prepping to open, one of the guys accused another random guy of budging in line. If the accused was budging, that meant I was budging, and I knew that wasn’t the truth. I opened my big mouth and tried to defend the accused, and soon found myself in a verbal altercation with a group of drunk guys –one guy was right up in my face. Cops arrived, the accused disappeared, and I retreated into the crowd (so typical of me). In hindsight, I don’t regret getting involved, but I think I could have been less reactive and more tactful in diffusing the situation.
I understand that bystanders don’t want to jeopardize their own safety, but there is a balance of self-love and morals.
In the possible abduction situation, I don’t expect people to physically get involved in the dangerous situation, but something as simple as calling 911 or take down the license plate number is invaluable. It’s not taxing or disruptive to do the right thing.
(1) Doing the right thing isn’t necessarily self-fulfilling.
(2) Regret something you did you instead of something you didn’t do.
(3) There’s no debt among friends/family.
(4) I’m an A-Cup dreaming of a full B-cup *sigh*