It’s Me, Not You.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

Lately, I’ve been hearing way too often from my fellow single ladies that men are assholes. Asshole because the men don’t call when the woman wants him to, or doesn’t open the car door for her when she wants him to, or doesn’t pick up the bill when she wants him to, or doesn’t react emotionally like she wants him to.

See a pattern? Women expect men to live up to their expectations, expectations that the men don’t even know are in play. And, then, to boot, the women tweak on the men for not knowing what to do.

Not all men are jerks. I know quite a few amazing men. Off the top of my head, I think of NYE 2013. I had two amazing men as my dates…both were gentlemen. I was wearing 5” heels and a dress. It was near 0 degrees and streets were slippery/wet. We had quite a bit of walking to do, and every so often Jay checked-in to see how I was doing, commenting on the heels and/or bare legs. He was conscious of my comfort and I thought that was so cute, considering it was my brilliant idea to wear what I did. And, at the end of the night, when I travelled home solo on transit, Jay, who continued partying, regularly checked-in to make sure I got home safely. The little things. Simple, but so meaningful.

Nice guys do exist. I know because a lot of them are my friends (married and single). I often wonder why my guy friends are single, but then I get talking to single ladies, and I soon realize women are crazy, and that my male friends are better off single.

We, men and women, all date jerks from time to time, but, please, let’s not generalize. Negativity attracts negativity. Resentment, bitterness, and jaded-ness will not get you who you want.

It always takes two to make a relationship work or to fail. Single ladies, you’re single because you haven’t found the right person, sure, but also because you haven’t taken responsibility for being the common denominator in all your failed relationships. Contrary to you thinking that the common denominator is that “you keep meeting assholes,” it’s actually you. Honestly reflect on how you affected your relationships because I’m sure he isn’t completely at fault.

Learn from experiences, evolve to be a better you, and soon enough you will attract the kind of guy you want to be with.

Rainbow Thoughts:

(1) Good guys do exist.

(2) Exude positive energy/attitude.

(3) No, I’m not introducing you to my single male friends.