Archive | January 2013

Nap Time.



I’m (Not) Sorry.

I want it. I want it now. No, not like that. You’re doing it all wrong. Add some passion. Don’t be so cold. I want you to want it as much as I want it.

Navigating an apology is like mapping a landmine. One wrong step and you’re toast.

The Lance Armstrong saga is never ending. It started with media frenzy about the ‘breaking news’, then the big Oprah interview, and now to water cooler talk about the sincerity and truths behind the apology.

I don’t believe in his apology because his character integrity has been tarnished by what he did (for so long). I have doubts about his motive to apologize (now). Mistakes/poor decisions are hard to set right if your character is tarnished.

In my opinion, Lance is a liar, a cheat, a fraud, etc, and despite the desire for an apology, no apology will ever be grand enough to appease everyone involved and/or affected. I think the apology was intended to publically acknowledge the issue, and maybe even more so to appease his guilt issues. It wasn’t a moment of him accepting responsibility.

I see no value in a coerced apology. I feel that a solicited apology is a meaningless apology. An honest apology is a gesture of taking responsibility, and more importantly, a validation of the relationship (workplace, family, personal, etc). It’s a way to recognize the value of the relationship instead of a desire to be right.

Also, for me, actions speak louder than words. For instance, I’ve recently reconnected with an ex. We dated years ago, and broke up because of poor communications (well, at least that’s why I think we broke up). It use to drive me nuts when we’d be texting back-n-forth, and then he would suddenly go MIA, and then later, reconnect with a different conversation. I’m sorry, I didn’t get the memo the previous conversation was over.

Now that we’ve loosely reconnected, I can tell he’s a matured man. Without any prompting, he’s been good to close conversations. Sounds simple (ok, fine, even ridiculous), but it’s meaningful in my world because, to me, it shows he respects what’s important to me, and our friendship.

Apologizing may be perceived as an action of weakness, but in actuality, it evidences strength and illuminates true character. It garners respect. It builds trust.

Read more on how I choked up an apology to a teenager who is 16 years my junior.

Rainbow thoughts:

(1) Say what you mean, mean what you say.

(2) Value a relationship, not ego.

(3) Don’t have texting conversations in a relationship.


Boobs, Friends, Memories, and Repeat.

I’m not woman who’s well endowed, but I can appreciate a good bra. A good bra’s padding gives the illusion I’m at least twice my actual size. Like the padding, my dearest friends help me be a better me, and, I’m very grateful for knowing them.thinkrainbows_friendships

Saturday night, I spent the evening with friends who relatively new to my life, and was busy making new friends. Good times.

Sunday morning, I woke up to a text from a friend from junior high school. She shared some disheartening news –a classmate, PN, had died from an alleged medical misdiagnosis.

It felt surreal. PN and I weren’t the closest by no means, but I do remember sharing good times with her. Memories were created together. My favourite is of us struggling through P.E. class. Physical activity and I have never got along.

In high school, PN and I’s friendship started to part, and then we completely lost touch after graduation.

Sunday was, then, consumed with reflection. It started with reflecting on my friendship with PN to other past and current friendships, then just life in general.

I’ve had a lot of friends come in and out of my life, and I truly believe that people enter your life to teach you life lessons, and that some friendships naturally expire. Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s an ideal to keep people in my life, but it’s not always the best option. Sometimes, letting go and accepting that the relationship has run its course is the lesson.

PN was only 31. I’m 31. Growing up, I had grand ideas of where I should be by this age.

The plan: be married with a couple of kids and making 6-figures.

Reality: single, no dependents, and not making 6-figures.

I forgot that life happens along the way, and I’m very okay with that because I am now living for today, enjoying the good times as they happen.

“Happiness is a way of life, not a destination.” – Anonymous

Rainbow thoughts:

(1) Appreciate people in your life now. Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late.

(2) Life is short. YOLO.

(3) Don’t Worry. Be happy.

(4) RIP PN

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