Puppy Love.

“I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I’m getting the Fear.” Dr. Gonzo, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I’m afraid of everything. ‘Til this day, my family calls me a ‘druh-kaal.’ That’s Punjabi for ‘scared person.’  Fear of heights, new things, public speaking, animals, flying, confined places, etc. You name it, and I’m afraid of it. These are not phobias. I don’t get a sense of anxiety. They’re just irrational fears that I know I can tolerate, but typically manage to convince myself otherwise.

I am scared sh!tless of dogs. Nope, never been attacked/chased by one, but I have a fear of being attacked. A pet peeve of mine is when dog owners announce (usually to their dog), “Oh, she doesn’t like dogs.” Uhm, actually, it’s not that I don’t like your companion. I’m afraid of him/her. In the past, I didn’t correct dog owners, in fear (of course!) of the owners telling their dogs to attack me, but now I do set the record straight.

Another pet peeve is when dog owners tell me that their pup has never attacked anyone. Well, guess what? There’s always a first time for everything, and with my luck, I’ll be the first one to be attacked by your lovely pet. And, to boot, I’ll be blamed for it: “The dog sensed your fear.”

I realize that my fear imposes inconveniences on friends who are dog owners, and I’m grateful that they are understanding and accommodating. A few years ago, my sister and I were staying with her friend for a few nights. Draker has a 100+ pound rottweiler named Bosco. Poor Bosco was summoned to be outside the house most of the time because I was inside, and when we were both inside, I asked where he was before I entered a different room. At one point, my sister held Bosco a few feet from me, in hopes of building a sense of ease between us. I trusted my sister. I didn’t trust Bosco. During Bosco and I’s staring match, he drooled, and I broke down and cried. True story.

Ex-boyfriends can break my heart and I won’t shed a tear, but a dog that does nothing to me can make me cry uncontrollably.

This past weekend, I made some progress. I met Amy’s (read: Party Animal) four-pound puppy, Missy the Pomeranian, once before, and we met again this past weekend at a party. Missy was the best guest at the party, so well dressed and behaved. So much so that I felt compelled to pet her, and then I scooped her up, nervously though. I could easily do some bicep curls with her in my hand. She was so light and tame. Later, Missy and I bonded while cuddling on the couch. The cutest thing ever.  I’m trying to convince Amy to let me have Missy. We’ll see how that goes.

Rainbow Thoughts:

(1) Persevere. Things do get easier. Don’t quit trying (to conquer a fear) and/or stepping out of your comfort zone.

(2) Time. The right place, the right time, and the right people will present themselves in due time.



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About thinkrainbows

positive thinking for simple living.

2 responses to “Puppy Love.”

  1. Russel Lolacher (@RussLoL) says :

    Did two pretty kickass things here: admit to your challenges and took steps to combat them. Nicely done and pretty amazing. OK, we can be friends.

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