Joke Gone Too Far.
I have a very awesome 15-year-old cousin (she’s more than half my age). She’s genuinely big-hearted, thoughtful and giving, and I managed to piss her off a few weeks ago. It was our first big ‘fight.’ She was super excited to show me a recent school project that she was very proud of, but I wasn’t in the mood. Well, I was interested, but I wasn’t as enthusiastic as her. To my defense, I was already having a rough day (read Ghosts, Goblins & Greed to see why).
The project was a scrapbook of her dad’s life. It was very well done, but the asshole in me nit-picked and pointed out the flaws, one after the other. I thought it was in all good fun, but I took the joke too far. She left the room and locked herself in her room. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was a jerk. I went upstairs, and through the door, I asked her to talk. She didn’t say a word in return. So, still talking through the door, I apologized for my behaviour. Still nothing from her. I let her be.
Weeks have passed, and I’ve seen her a few times since, and it’s been awkward to say the least. I wasn’t sure what to do, what to say, if anything at all. Conversation was always minimal. This was really starting to bother me. I even had a few conversations with her mom where I expressed my concerns. Her mom is awesome. She diplomatically just said that this was between my cousin and I, and it was up to us to resolve it.
Would we ever be friends again?!
Today, she texted me! It was so random, so unexpected, so welcomed. We are back!
(1) Do not smother. Give people time.
(2) Regardless of the scope of a ‘fight’ (perceived pettiness), or position (older cousin), do the right thing and apologize.
“Apologizing doesn’t always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.” – Anonymous