People in my bubble know that I am not comfortable in situations where I only know one person at a party/function, and I really dislike the feeling of being babysat. But let’s be honest, that’s what I need in those situations…until I make a new friend. That’s when I tell my babysitter that s/he is cramping my style.
Small talk and awkward silences are some of least favourite things. Add those to my already long list of neurotic behaviour of acting on projections, feeling insecure, etc, who would invite me to a party anyways! I think it’s my charm that champions.
This Thought Catalog’s post “Six Situations Designed to Make you Feel Insecure” immediately made me think of my own anxieties of meeting new people, and the progress I’ve made in these types of situation. Yep. This post is about giving myself kudos.
My friend Amy and I met about 10 years ago but drifted apart over the years. And, thanks to Facebook, we reconnected about two years ago. I made countless excuses as to why I couldn’t attend her events/parties, simply because I was so uncomfortable hanging out with women who I thought were super social, attractive, outgoing, etc. The intimidation was paralyzing. I was okay keeping our friendship to just Facebook.
That didn’t last long. After I ran out of excuses, I openly confessed to Amy why I was avoiding her shindigs. She couldn’t have been more supportive and understanding. She convinced me to trust her, and so I did. I took leap of faith and attended a casual dinner party. She reassured me I was doing the right thing. She planned a seating chart, well, for the two of us at least. She ensured I sat next to her, and throughout the evening, she consciously made an effort to be inclusive. I even got a Facebook friend request from another dinner guest. Bazinga.
Now, I invite myself to outings, and I look forward to her organized nights out –reasons to paint my face, shave my legs, and hit the town. Amy has introduced me to an amazing group of women, who I have been able to forge my own friendships with, and who have helped me have some memorable times (i.e. TP anyone?).
(1) Admitting quirks/insecurities is liberating.
(2) Learning to trust is worth the short-term discomfort.
(3) Good people are supportive.
(4) I have a few more new Facebook friends…it is a numbers game, right? 😉