What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Just a coincidence that I’m expecting after my date night with a married man, but I digress…
What should you be expecting when you’re expecting? No, not wild cravings, morning sickness, or elastic waistbands because that’s not the kind of expecting I need to vent about today. I’m talking about expectations (of people). With that, you’ll likely be hit with disappointment, anger and/or discontent.
It’s a work in progress, but I like to think I’m getting better at accepting people for who they are, not who I need/want them to be. But, this week, I slipped.
In short, I felt excluded (on discussions) by a friend on his recent life ventures. Yeah, I went back to grade school on this. But to my defense, I only expected the inclusion because of how highly I valued our friendship, and because I like to think that if I was in his shoes, I would have involved him in the conversations.
I reflected for a long while on this because it irked me just that much. A few days later, I’m no longer disappointed with him, but more so confused about myself. That’s the problem with this reflection stuff –accountability and responsibility for change always falls back on me.
I’m now left wondering why I slipped. This isn’t the usual crazy me who projects madness; I genuinely think something is missing in this friendship, or should I say acquaintanceship? Am I letting the friend label (known him forever, helped me out in times of need, etc) cloud my judgment of what I define as a friend now?
Rainbow Thought: This little hiccup is an opportunity for me to acknowledge that I am not the same person (for better or worse) I was when I met this friend, and perhaps our friendship has expired? Time to revisit the role people play in my bubble.
PS: I know my rainbow thought should be that this is an opportunity for me to talk to my friend and express what’s going on in my over analytical mind. Too soon, folks, too soon for that kind of boldness and self-development.