Yesterday I attended day one of a two-day course, Asserting Yourself in Conflict Situations. The greatest learning for me was that I realized that I don’t have low confidence, as I always thought; I have low self-esteem. Great.
With all the conversations I have in my head, I thought I was talking to me. I was convinced I was telling myself “I can’t. I shouldn’t” But the voice in my head telling me the negatives, is not mine. Self-esteem is affected by what others tell us about ourselves. Growing up, I was consistently told I can’t do things because of whatever reason, so eventually I just stopped striving for better/different. I became complacent. If your told so many times that you shouldn’t, or can’t, eventually, you believe it yourself, you enter new situations with that negative attitude. It’s tough training yourself to believe otherwise, to believe in yourself.
This leads me to another key learning from the course; to be assertive you have to enter a situation with a positive assumption. I usually ‘expect the worst, but hope for the best.’ That’s not so positive.
Well, I’m off to day two of the course. Let’s see what new revelations I have today.
Rainbow Thought: I don’t have low self-confidence, just low self-esteem. Though it seems like I just replaced one issue with another, I think I’m getting closer to figuring out exactly what my weaknesses are (and then can work on strengthening them).