Archive | October 2012

You Can’t See Me.

photo credit: Erika Scott Photography

My weekend was busy, busy with reflection that made me feel warm and fuzzy. Not enough to write ‘xoxo’ to anyone, but enough to make me feel pretty awesome.

Though my friends/family would say I’m not shy because I’m so social, I claim to be very shy and introverted. I’m, by no means, socially inept, but I am more comfortable observing than experiencing situations. Sometimes, my quietness is interpreted as mean, disinterest, or impolite, but rest assured, I’m not. (I never miss an opportunity to unleash the a$$hole in me.) I enjoy just watching situations unfold, learning about people, and having conversations with myself about what’s going on. I am a wallflower, so I like to think. I like blending into the background, and since I think I’m in the background, I assume others don’t see me.

Back to the weekend. I sent a broadcast email to my friends/colleagues/family with regards to a favour. I didn’t expect to receive any emails back, but my goodness, the response was humbling. Several people willing to help me, some people I didn’t even know they knew my name.

One email stood out. It was from my sister’s friend (they’ve known each other for 20+years). I’d share it, but I won’t because … well, just because. But, simply put, her choice of words, and message were very sincere and genuine. For someone who I’ve known for years, but rarely get to meet up with, I really appreciated the time/effort she took to exchange a few messages, sharing advice and ideas.

Then, to top off my weekend, another one of my sister’s friend sent me a thank you card for a baby shower gift, for a shower I was unable to attend. Completely unexpected just because I went in on the gift with my sister and another friend, and so I, again, assumed that one thank you from the new mum to my sister would suffice.

I really value time, mine and yours. So, I’m always appreciative of the time people take to connect.

It was the weekend of my sister’s friends…I may have to start calling them my own friends =)

Rainbow Thought: I’m always humbled by people’s thoughtfulness and consideration of moi. I may never be able to re-pay people back for their kindness, but I can promise to pay it forward.

Take a Gamble.

Ever wonder where your food comes from? Not me. Ignorance is my middle name (for many reasons).

A friend suggested I watch a documentary called Genetic Roulette: A Gamble on Lives (Free to watch until 31 October 2012). The documentary evidences how Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO) are correlated to the poor health of Americans. It lays out the effects of GMOs in simple, easy to understand terms, and makes a strong impact. More information can be found at Genetic Roulette and The Institute for Responsible Technology. The video is lengthy, but the 90 minutes is definitely worth it.

I thought I was eating relatively healthy, but it turns out there’s another component to healthy foods other than what I’m eating. I need to consider how my food is produced. Reflecting on what I do eat, some of the foods that I consume that are genetically modified include meat, corn, soy products, milk/cheese, sugar, and fruits/veggies.  Well, in sum, that’s pretty much my entire diet.

This video made me have a greater appreciation for the time/effort my Dad put into his personal garden when I was younger. We had homegrown everything –potatoes, herbs, strawberries, corn, u name it!

I may have to reconsider my opinion on organic foods being BS (marketing, shmarketing!). Whole Foods, I’m coming!

Rainbow Thoughts:

(1) I admit my ignorance is just laziness.

(2) There’s still time to make healthy changes.

Projecting Madness.

Last weekend, I met up with two friends who had never even heard of each other before then. My anxiety levels were high. Okay, fine. I may have even had a minor panic attack at the thought of being the glue between us three. I don’t do well with inter-mingling friends or networking simply because I get worked up about who will and won’t hit it off.

We started with drinks at Kal’s place. During the entire time, I was trying to carry two conversations –one with the guys, and one in my head. In the latter, irrational me was overanalyzing body language, short spurts of silence in the conversation, and everything else I could possibly fixate on, and rational me was telling me to just chill out because the conversation was flowing naturally.

A little while later, we made our way to Club Five Sixty. “lD, please,” says the doorman. Oh sh!t. For the first time ever, I forgot my ID. Did this really have to happen tonight? The guys offered to head elsewhere, but we all knew that I would need my ID for other venues as well. So, I left Arun and Kal to entertain each other while I headed back to the ‘burbs to get my ID. At this point, I could care less on how big of an idiot I was. I was too busy obsessing over the fact that I had left Arun and Kal together.

An hour later, I was back downtown and in the club. The guys were fine. Of course they were. They are both socially ept, and awesome. They would’ve bailed if things were awful, but instead we continued our night hitting up Barcelona, Hooker’s Green, and Tsui Hangs,

So simple, and yet so over-complicated in my head.

Up until recently, I never would put extra effort into making group-friend-nights, and this strategy worked, but was failing me now simply because I couldn’t keep up with all the separate social outings (time/effort/budget); they were taking away from my tv time.

With age, I, like many others, consolidated my friends. I have shed the fake friends/relationships. And, now that I’m surrounded by people I actually like, it’s given me confidence in knowing that I know good people, and good people tend to play nice with each other.

Rainbow Thoughts:

(1) I look so young for my age that that the doorman was adamant he needed proof I was over 19 (I choose to see past his legal responsibility).

(2) New friendships were formed because I let go of my neurotic thoughts.

(3) I had an awesome night out.

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